is the light... Sometimes the heaviness can sink me, that familiar looming sense of dread can sneak up on me, triggered by something I’ve not noticed or that I’m unconsciously turning away from. But I’m lucky, I’ve (mostly) learnt ways to navigate my way through these times so it never consumes me for long enough that I can’t lift the veil and accept my current experience. From here I can choose to turn and face the heaviness and know that behind it is my light. These times also serve as a good reminder to make sure I’m looking after myself. They’re not a step backwards but just another ascent on the learning curve of being human.
5. I am (strong) enough
I am and always have been enough. I realise now that all those times I beat myself up for falling short of the mark set by the systems in which we live or by the self imposed mark influenced by the conditioned thought that we are never good enough, was all self sabotage. And forever beating myself up over these imaginary short comings just meant I was destined to hold onto the belief that I wasn’t good enough and I would continually get in my own way, sapping myself of any self confidence, unable to love myself as the human I am. I’m not past this self defeating pattern by any means but once we see it we stand a chance; a chance to stand tall, to shine, to love ourselves unconditionally.
Strong... I spent much of my life thinking I was weak because I couldn’t ‘handle’ my emotions all the time, I was under the illusion that I was being strong when I managed to suck it up and put on a ‘brave face’ - I now know my strength is my ability to feel, my ability to sit with my emotions, to embrace them and love them as the passing waves they are. So when I see your tears, I see a beautiful strength, when I see your belly laugh, I see it there too, when I see you angry but not projecting that anger I see your strength. I see the same in me and I’m in awe of the humans we are.
Fall, I've got you
Fall, I’ve got you... Sometimes falling into a feeling, into what can feel like an abyss or a black hole is scary; the idea of surrendering completely to that is probably some of the scariest moments I’ve experienced. At these times I would want someone else to come and fix everything or desperately seek something outside myself to take me away from the pain. But when you’ve hit ‘rock bottom’ and you sit on the edge but have the awareness to know that’s where you are, that’s when you have a chance - that knowing is your saviour, that glimmer of clarity is your light cracking through the dark... now is the time to be your bravest, to fall into those feelings in the present moment knowing that something bigger than your chattering egoic mind is waiting to catch you, the universe, the higher self, god, call it what you like, ultimately it’s all just you, and you’ve got you. And you and I aren’t really separate so I’ve got you too.
7. I can go there / come with me (Part 1)
I can go there
I can turn to face my fears
I can stand strong in the eye of my storm
I can embrace every hidden aspect of my being
I can step through this door
I can do this because I know on the other side is an endless and abundant unconditional love waiting to hold me
I want you to hold my hand and come with me.
8. (I can go there / come with me) Part 2: And in she came
And in she came
brave, strong and shining her light
Holding hands we’ve jumped, beyond our fears, beyond expectations, beyond anything we could have imagined.
And here we flow together, navigating this new landscape with open hearts.
The flow of unconditional love securing the bond of our heartstrings, a bond that ties yet frees.
Now I can let my heart sing
and you and I can dance this dance together.